TWO YEARS AGO, IT WAS AN AWFUL DAY

Two years ago today I sent out a text message to our family and friends that said this:

"Lauren's heart just stopped. Please pray."

I'm still haunted by fears of that day. As the anniversary has sneaked up on us, I have been experiencing nightmares of Lauren, Elyse or myself suddenly having to undergo heart surgery. I find the dreams where I have to have the surgery the least upsetting because, in reality, I would love to have taken all of that from Lauren and put it on myself. I think that is the mark of being a parent, but unfortunately it isn't the way that it works. Instead, our job is to help our children through their struggles, pray for them without fail and love them regardless of the pain that it may bring us (if not because of a medical issue, because of the first time they tell us that they hate us). I fight daily with fears that Elyse has something wrong with her that we don't know about yet. I know that my inclination to worry is something that has always been present but it was so much easier to dismiss them when they were baseless. Now, I have to fall back into prayer when these fears come into my head. I find that is the only way to battle them because it is the only place that I can live without fear.

When Lauren's heart stopped and I could not tear my eyes away from her small body as the doctors and nurses tried to save her, Matt was face down on the floor praying. Prayer held us in those moments and in all of the days, weeks and months after and prayer still holds us today.

Now, two years later, this is a day of celebration for our family. It is a day to spend together and Matt and I will ensure that it always remains special. This year we got up early (thank you Lauren) and hustled the girls out of the house (it took two hours) and into the car to drive to Lynn Canyon. Lauren spent almost an hour in the freezing cold water, tossing rocks into the water and waddling around. I think this has to be one of her favourite places to go to. We will have to make sure that we come back at least once this summer!

After naptime, Lauren came out back to a backyard of fun. Her best friends came over and the three of them spent an hour playing, jumping and running around together. Lauren asks to play with them every day so it is nice when I can surprise her with the perfect get together right after her nap.

We let Lauren watch a few episodes of her new favourite show, Wild Kratts, which is the worst ever but makes me laugh because she pronounces it Wild Krap, and then we were back out playing in the backyard and jumping in the bouncer until bed time.

The day together really was perfect. It was a day of celebration, a day of remembering and a day to shower Lauren with love. Two years ago today, we started to see miracles happen and I will never stop being thankful for every miracle and every struggle that we have experienced. They have brought us together as a family and they have changed how we live our lives. Praise the Lord for the things he has done!