WELL, I NEVER!

Tomorrow, February 11, 2013, Lauren will no longer be a little baby, she will be a little girl. I won't be able to say I have a baby anymore, I will have a one year old. Oh man, I can only imagine what Mrs. Wiggs will do in the next year with her crazy exploring and state of perpetual motion.

When I was pregnant, like most  idiots  other women without kids, I had many preconceived notions about what it would be like when my perfect little baby was born. Well, there are many times that it has not be what I expected.

Things that I never expected:

- that I would laugh as my child stood in her crib stark naked and peed all over her sheets

- that nightlights would be so enticing

- that my daughter's favourite toy at 11 months would be a Ralph's grocery store reward card

- that I would not be making homemade food for my child to reap all the benefits of good nutrition that I don't even believe in myself since I have to choke down my vegetables

- that someone so small could make so much laundry, mess, and dirty diapers

- that baby legs would be so darn cute to look at

- that I would enjoy the smell of my daughter's feet (and believe me, they smell like feet)

- that my daughter's feet would smell so much like feet

- that she would dress nicer than I do on a daily basis

- that I would still be nursing her

- that baby teeth are so sharp (she has drawn blood)

- that sneezing while eating could get such distance

- that I wouldn't even flinch while catching vomit in my hands

- that I would consider Mr. Walt Disney a close personal friend

- that I would get sick of pink

- that toilets are magnetic
- that cellulite could be cute
- that I could be so frustrated with her but want to punish her with hugs and kisses. That will have to change before she's a teenager... though that might be punishment at that age.
- that our first year together would have bonded us together like it has